And then the Big Bad Wolf went to the Fourth piggy's house, which was made entirely of Hemp.
"Little Pig, little pig, let me IN!" Cried the wolf.
Getting no reply, and noticing a steady flow of funny smelling smoke wafting under the door, he became furious. The other little piggies at LEAST had the courtesy to be frightened. How was a wolf to keep his image if not even a little pig was afraid of him?
"I SAID," he cleared his throat and continued, "Little pig, little pig, LET! ME! IN!!!"
After about a minute of shuffling sounds -some of which sounded mysteriously like little piggy voices saying, "Hide the shit!"- the wolf finally got a weak-voiced, uninterested reply, "Wha? We're not interested! Oh, umm, chinny-chin-something."
Furious, the wolf was panting and drooling with embarrassment and rage. Finally he could take it no more. He had to solidify his alpha-male reputation as a vicious killer. No smoky little pigs are gonna make a fool out of HIM!
"That's it, Pigs! You asked for it!" He gathered himself, taking a deep breath.
"I'll HUFF!" He huffed.
"And i'll PUFF!!" And he puffed.
"And i'll ... hey, you got any chips?"
And all the little piggies opened the door and welcomed Mr Wolf in with a wall of that funny smelling smoke. His much calmed and mellow manner convinced them that he was no longer a threat.
And they all huffed, and they all puffed, and they all blew their minds.
They played video games, watched trippy movies, gorged on snack food and laughed several times deep into the night, and they all became best friends.
The wolf apologized for blowing down the Straw and Wooden houses, and for placing explosives by the Brick house.
And the piggies forgave him, saying, "This was our favourite house anyway."